Musical Terms

Here are a few musical terms that didn't quite make it into the Oxford Dictionary of Music. (these were given to us from Cecilia via Bonnie -- producer of our German pronounciation guide -- whether either would like to be held responsible, I don't know! I suspect the lead element of the list depends on the proclivities of Cecilia.)

Gaul blatter

a French horn player.

a-b-a form

a musical convention long preferred by composers who can't "C".

adagio fromaggio

to play in a slow and cheesy manner

a la regretto

tempo assigned to a performance by the conductor AFTER it is panned by the local music critics.

al capone

performing while standing on a neutered rooster.

al dente con tableau

in opera, chew the scenery.

all'egretto

played with a feathery tone.

allegro con brillo

the fastest way to wash pots and pans.

allegro con Taco

Cheerfully but with heartburn

allegro non groppo

play fast, and don't fumble for the notes.

anDante

A musical composition that is Infernally slow.

aneurhythm

a catchy, sometimes unwelcome musical piece which, when heard first thing in the morning, echoes in the mind throughout the day.

Angus Dei

a divine, beefy tone.

antiphonal

referring to the prohibition of cell phones in the concert hall.

a patella

unaccompanied knee-slapping.

appologgiatura

an ornament you regret after playing it.

approximatura

a series of notes played by a performer and not intended by the composer, especially when disguised with an air of "I meant to do that."

approximento

a musical entrance that is somewhat close to the correct pitch.

baffoon

baboon with bassoon.

barbidolce

sweet but plastic.

bar line

what musicians form after a concert.

bass lure

a seductive refrain.

basso continuo

the act of game fishing after the legal season has ended.

basso profundo

an opera about deep sea fishing.

basso refundo

the sad but predictable consequence of the ill-fated Three Basses" concert tour.

brake drum

The instrument most used to slow the tempo in an orchestra.

bull horn

a brass instrument that plays notes you wouldn't believe.

cacophany

composition incorporating many people with chest colds.

carmina banana

a medieval musical plantain.

clef caven

a clef that takes up space at a bar.

concerto con carne

a piece for single instrument played in a "chilly" manner.

Concerto Gasso

a composition by the French composer, Joseph Pujol Le Petomane.

Concerto Grasso

an outdoor concert, preferably in warm weather.

concerto grosso

a really BAD performance.

con molto luckoso

literal translation - with much luck. Found in fast orchestral music with a lot of sixteenth notes.

contrababoon

the simian assistant of a Latin American revolutionary organ grinder.

Coral Symphony

(see Beethoven -- Caribbean period).

cornetti trombosis

disastrous entanglement of brass instruments that can occur when musicians are not careful exiting the stage.

crashendo

the increasing sense of aggrivation felt by band members as those trumpet players keep dropping their mutes on the hard stage floor.

d.c. al capone

you betta go back to the beginning, capiche?

dill piccolo

a wind instrument that plays only sour notes.

diminderwindo

fading of daylight at dusk, as seen from indoors.

diminuendo

the process of quieting a rumor in the orchestra pit.

eardrum

a teeny, tiny tympani.

ear trumpet

a grammaw-phone.

etude brute

an early form of Roman music performed with a rapid, sharp, repetitive beat.

fermantra

a note that is held over and over and over and...

fermatahorn

an Alpine wind instrument used for playing long notes.

fermoota

a rest of indefinite length and dubious value.

fiddler crabs

grumpy string players.

flute flies

gnat-like bugs that bother musicians playing out-of-doors.

fog horn

a brass insturment that plays when the conductor's intentions are not clear.

fortississippi

with mighty, flowing strength.

frugalhorn

a sensible, inexpensive brass instrument.

fruitti tutti

a chorus singing together in an exaggerated, overripe manner.

good conductor

A person who can give an electrifying performance.

grace note

the I.O.U. you deposit in the church collection plate when you're out of cash.

gregorian champ

monk who can hold a note the longest.

ground brass

when someone in the marching band drops a sousaphone.

ground hog

someone who takes control of the repeated bass line and won't let others play it.

Herbert von Carryon

a conductor who never rides in the cargo hold.

hyperportamento

a tone that soars, bends, strains until it pierces into another dimension and leaves, ever after, a porthole to heaven.

Katya Katerpilova

Janacek's predecessor to Madam Butterfly.

kvetchendo

gradually getting ANNOYINGLY louder.

legolegato

stop playing legato.

maestrousseau

at the pace of a wedding march.

mallade

a romantic song that's pretty awful

matterhorn

an intrument of cosmic influence designed to create something out of nothing.

molto bolto

head straight for the ending, but don't make it seemed rushed.

mucho caffinato

play loudly enough to wake up those sleeping in the audience.

oeuferture

musical compostion comissioned by the National Egg Marketing Council.

oraToro

a lawn mower may be substituted for the original instrumentation at this point.

oygavotte

dance created on Noah's ark when the flood started. It regained popularity in 1742 when J. S. Bach had his twentieth child.

opera buffa

musical stage production at a nudists' camp.

pastorale

beverage to drink in the country when listening to Beethoven with a member of the clergy.

phollyphonic

badly arranged harmonizations.

pianorama

instrument capable of broad, sweeping musical performances.

pipe smoker

an extremely virtuosic organist.

pizzacato

the act of removing anchovies from an Italian dish with short, quick motions and tossing them to a nearby awaiting feline friend.

Placebo Domingo

faux tenor.

pollyphonic

orchestra made up of lots of parrots

poochini

When singing, to be accompanied by your dog.

Pre-Classical Conservatism

school of thought which fostered the idea, "if it ain't baroque, don't fix it"

prelude

a cue, found in some of the earlier oratorios, instructing those singing the roles of the wicked to pray in an offensive or profane manner

presto chango

quickly going from a very fast to a very slow tempo

pseudo-dolce

nutrasweet

(The) Rights of Strings

manifesto of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Bowed Instruments.

rooti tooti

use of a potato as a trumpet mute.

rubato

cross between rhubarb and a tomato.

schmaltzando

a sudden burst of music from the Guy Lombardo band.

snacktus

Quiet, contemplative music played during the appetizer at Catholic wedding receptions

Sosaphone

a cylindrical wooden instrument used to play smash hits.

spinet

politician's order .

spritzicato

plucking of a stringed instrument to produce a bright, bubbly sound, usually accompanied by sparkling water with lemon (wine optional).

status cymbal

an instrument to be played at inaugurations and socialite balls.

Telemom

the fastest way to spread the news without incurring long distance charges.

Tempe Arizona

a hot passage.

tempo tantrum

what a young orchestra is having when it's not keeping time with the conductor.

timpani alley

a row of kettledrums. Term originated in New York City area.

tincanabulation

the annoying or irritating sounds made by an unmusical person using extremely cheap bells. From Poe's "The Bells" and "tin cans".

toiletto

the effect on the human voice of reverberation in small rooms with ceramic tiles.

trill

a thrill without the B-natural.

trouble clef

any clef one can't read, e.g., the alto clef for pianists.

tutti

where all musicians go after a matinee performance

vesuvioso

a gradual buildup to a fiery conclusion.

violin

a place of public accomodation that is detestable .

woodwind

a noise in the game of golf, made by a club missing the ball on a tee shot.